Sunday, 1 November 2015

The story of the EXES…


 Lazy Sundays are definitely not a novelty to me.

As it happened this particular Sunday, I decided to take a stroll through my TL on twitter, as I usually do when I find myself less busy and then I saw it, the 64 million dollar question that always seem to get people boiled up: Is it a big deal if your best friend and ex hook up? As you have correctly guessed (those familiar with twitter rants), my TL was lit with enough opinions, and one would have thought it was a political debate. Since it was a quiet Sunday in with the boo, I turned to him and posed the question, his reply was; what kind of ex is she? And this made me pause for a second; I replied ‘what do you mean? He then said there were some kind of exes you still feel some residual emotions for and those you don’t.

This reminded  me of an old story about two good friends I heard about, Susan and Tia. Susan had a boyfriend, Anthony, with whom she had been in a relationship for three years until she graduated. Tia and Anthony still had a year left in school before graduation. The gist was, their relationship was the talk of the whole campus because they were so in love and weren’t shy when it came to PDAs. They went everywhere together, lived and studied together and just about did everything together until Susan graduated. A few months after, Susan and Anthony broke up due to some issues- primarily, distance.

Anyway, after the breakup, Susan started noticing some distance between her and her friend. Tia had become so secretive. This made Susan very suspicious. At first she felt it was school issues, and then Tia graduated with First class honours which pretty much ruled that out. This behaviour continued for months until Susan got fed up. She decided to consult friends they had in common. She asked what was wrong with Tia and why she had been acting peculiar for months. Their friends said nothing. They all denied knowing what could be affecting Tia. Not long after, everybody parted ways.
 Many years later, Susan was going through her facebook page and saw some pictures of Tia, she decided to check though her profile and what she saw made her weak, Tia was married to Anthony and they were expecting their first child together! Apparently, Tia and Anthony hooked up after the break up. Life is a pot of beans abi?

Now the question that went round was; what was the big deal? At least Susan and Anthony broke up before Tia entered the picture. It wasn’t as if it Tia broke the relationship. In fact others went as far as to tell Susan to be happy since her friend found happiness through her.
Some others did not so understand, saying Tia must have wanted a relationship with her best friend’s boyfriend all along. Out of the thousands of guys she could have dated, why did she pick him? Others went as far as saying Tia could have instigated the breakup.

Now my opinion is this, there is a universal code among girls, one of which is; you must not date your friend’s ex. That said, there are exigent circumstances, situations beyond our control. After all, we do not choose who we fall in love with.

On a personal note though, I do not believe in exes. Once we breakup, we never dated!


4 comments:

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

All other things being equal... That rule works until it's an ex u hv residual feelings for. Not that you want them Bck but too many memories and ties that not even time could heal... Then all of a sudden they've become ur bestfriend's boo.. Inherently nw part of your life again

Unknown said...

Very true Abe!!!

You talk I talk said...

Nice writeup but to me... I don't care what happened to my exes any more emotionally.. we broke up.. Fine... that's the end of the chapter... she got my paid and they marry... fine too that's life. I don't have time for nigbati nigbati.